by Earmouse

Well, this is officially the first installment of “Ask Earmouse!” – the unofficial best part of  I received a lot of good questions over the past 4 weeks, and I have narrowed it down to a few of my favorites.

Earmouse, why are you so awesome?
— Anonymouse, Big City, USA
Great question, Anonymouse!  Unfortunately, some things don’t have answers, they just are.  Why is the sky blue?  Why does gravity exist?  Why is cheese so good?  All of these are examples of things that just are.  And such is my awesome-ness.  Of course, my amazing acting skills, superior intellect, and dashingly-good looks don’t hurt either.

Earmouse, how old are you?
— Tom K., Tampa, FL

This question is less important than the question, “what age can I act?”  The answer is, I am very diverse in my ability.  I have the ability to pull off the part of a “coming of age” young mouse, AND the ability (with a little face makeup) to play the part of a crafty and experienced older mouse.  This extraordinary range makes me perfect for almost any role.  Unfortunately, there is only one of me.

Dear Earmouse, first off I’d like to say you are my favorite character in the big cheese.  My question is, how do you change a flat tire?
— Shawn J., Santa Barbara, CA

And you are my favorite question asker, Shawn.  You came to the right place, I know a thing or two about this from years of driving my Humvee up and down the Pacific Coast Highway.  If you get a flat tire, first proceed safely out of the way of traffic.  Once pulled over, have one of the members of your entourage change the tire.  If no one in your entourage knows how, then get a new entourage.  On the off chance you are by yourself, simply call AAA, or wait for a hot lady to pull over and help you change it.

Thanks to everyone who sent in questions.  I apologize that I am not able to answer everyone’s questions, but that is the price for being popular.  Please continue to send questions to  You can ask me about the web, comics, cheese, sports, or anything else you can think of. 
“Ask Earmouse!” is a exclusive, published monthly.

Discussion (4) ¬

  1. Anonymouse

    Awesome post, Earmouse. Just awesome. 🙂

  2. swells

    If only the Dodgers had the same philosphy as Earmouse.

  3. AridWaste

    Hey Earmouse, where can a cool guy like me aquire a good entourage for cheap?

  4. Earmouse

    Thanks for the question, AridWaste. I am pleased to inform you that your question is under consideration for future “Ask Earmouse” blogisodes. I apologize that I cannot answer your question at this time, but please continue to check this website for updates, as your question may be answered in the future. Everyone here at “the BIG cheese” appreciates your patronage.

Comment ¬

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